Prvi zapisi o njemu se pronalaze tek 1954. godine kada je služio kao kapetan nepotopive nuklearne podmornice „Crveni Oktobar“ koja je sedam puta potonula. Iako uglavnom kriv, koristeći nepotizam i ucene uvek se izvlači i kako to obično biva, napreduje u redovima Sovjetske mornarice do čina admirala; no osama i dubine mora čine svoje i u njemu se razvijaju mentalni poremećaji… Tokom Kubanske krize spašava svet zaboravivši šifre za lansiranje nukearnih projektila i nesposoban da se suoči sa besom Nikite Hruščova rešava da prebegne na zapad; no kao potpuni ignoramus geografije i ekonomije završava na Uskršnjim ostrvima i tamo prodaje podmornicu za 30 dolara.

Bežeći od linča svoje posade nastanjuje se u Argentini gde uspeva da se zaposli kao gaučos no gubi se u beskrajnim stepama i putuje dalje na jug gde dobija posao krotitelja pingvina. Jedva izvukavši živu glavu od pobesnelog jata sreće Roalda Amundsena kome nedostaje pilot cepelina za osvajanje severnog pola te dobija ovu poziciju zahvaljujući falcifikovanoj biografiji. „Sve je to isto kao podmornica“ govori sebi boreći se sa podivljalom snežnom olujom i u želji da se podigne iznad oblaka spušta se na tlo i tako spašava letelicu.

Vesti o njegovim uspesima dolaze do NASA administracije i oni ga zapošljavaju kao dresera majmuna – astronauta Alberta, no zaboravivši da ga nahrani majmun umire i on zauzima njegovo mesto u sub-orbitalnoj raketi i tu postaje očaran svemirom i njegovim tajnama… Pokušavajući da ga se otarase NASA ga šalje sa Pionir sondom na Mesec koja se slupa na sletanju ostavljajući ga tamo zarobljenog ali iako u suštini neuspešne ove misije donose dragocene informacije o mesečevoj gravitaciji i konačno rezultiraju Apolo misijama; tada ga Armstrong spašava i vraća na zemlju. U očajanju i psihozi jeo je mesečevo kamenje te od toga dolaze mitovi da je Mesec napravljen od sira.

Prognan iz SAD-a, očajan, odaje se alkoholu što još više uništava njegovu načetu psihu i luta po svetu da bi se konačno skrasio u Vijetnamu gde otvara auto-mehaničarsku radionicu i uništava njihov ionako slab vozni park, no tu Ho Ši Min shvata njegov pravi potencijal i baca ga iz aviona na Amerikance sa šafcigerom u rukama što rezultira njihovim povlačenjem ’73.

Dalje putuje u Japan gde dugo godina ostaje zaposlen u Sony korporaciji kao tester što dovodi ovaj brend do svetskog uspeha no stalno eksperimentišući sa njihovim naučnicima greškom sklapa prvi vokalni procesor pokušavajući da napravi mašinu za premotavanje traka na video-kasetama.

Upravljajući sa ovom napravom uspeva da ubedi ostale članove benda Teatar Apsurda kako zna da peva i do dana današnjeg ostaje njihov vokalni solista i tekstopisac.

The first records of him are found only in 1954 when he served as the captain of the unsinkable nuclear submarine „Red October,“ which sank seven times. Although mostly at fault, he always managed to escape consequences using nepotism and blackmail and, as often happens, rose through the ranks of the Soviet Navy to the rank of admiral; however, the loneliness and depths of the sea took their toll and he developed mental disorders. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, he saved the world by forgetting the launch codes for nuclear missiles. Unable to face Nikita Khrushchev’s wrath, he decided to defect to the West; but as a complete ignoramus in geography and economics, he ended up on Easter Island and there sold the submarine for $30.

Fleeing from his crew’s lynching, he settled in Argentina, where he managed to get a job as a gaucho but got lost in the endless steppes and traveled further south, where he landed a job as a penguin tamer. Barely escaping alive from a frenzied flock, he met Roald Amundsen, who needed a zeppelin pilot to conquer the North Pole. He got the position thanks to a falsified biography. „It’s all the same as a submarine,“ he told himself, fighting a raging snowstorm and, in a bid to rise above the clouds, landed on the ground, thus saving the airship.

News of his successes reached NASA, and they employed him as a trainer for Albert, the astronaut monkey, but forgetting to feed him, the monkey died, and he took its place in a sub-orbital rocket. There, he became fascinated with space and its secrets. Trying to get rid of him, NASA sent him with the Pioneer probe to the Moon, which crashed on landing, leaving him stranded. Although essentially unsuccessful, these missions brought valuable information about lunar gravity and ultimately led to the Apollo missions; then Armstrong rescued him and brought him back to Earth. In despair and psychosis, he ate moon rocks, giving rise to the myths that the Moon is made of cheese.

Banished from the USA, in despair, he turned to alcohol, further destroying his already damaged psyche. He wandered the world and finally settled in Vietnam, where he opened an auto-mechanic workshop and destroyed their already weak vehicle park. There, Ho Chi Minh realized his true potential and dropped him from a plane onto the Americans with a screwdriver in his hand, resulting in their withdrawal in ’73.

He then traveled to Japan, where he stayed for many years employed by Sony Corporation as a tester, which led the brand to global success. Constantly experimenting with their scientists, he accidentally assembled the first vocal processor while trying to make a machine for rewinding tapes on video cassettes.

Operating this device, he managed to convince the other members of the band Teatar Apsurda that he knew how to sing, and to this day remains their lead vocalist and lyricist.